Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
