Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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