So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
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