hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
