I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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