when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
