like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
