I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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