6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
