I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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