Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
