What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
