SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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