my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
