Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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