dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
