And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
