rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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