I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
