big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
