i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Randomize
