im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
