dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
