if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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