How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
