go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
