I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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