I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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