Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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