I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
