her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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