so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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