sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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