I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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