she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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