Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
sex in a hospital.. check
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
