I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
