i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
