their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I think I died a long time ago.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
