): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
