what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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