How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
