I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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