I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
