You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
