She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i drank out of a bidet.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
