Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
