i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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