ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
