OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
you never un-have a 4some
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
