Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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