thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
