No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
