Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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